Napoli – some club from Turin

By: Joe | October 25th, 2007

I hate Juventus with a passion difficult to describe. Let me count the ways: they’ve had Frenchmen as talismanic leaders…not once but twice, Luciano Moggi, 27 scudetti, ~~dubious~~, ~~questionable~~, shameful refereeing decisions, the prison stripe jerseys, half of Italy claim to be fans but they can’t fill up the Stadio delle Alpi (what a shithole), Alessandro Moggi, the ~~G-14~~ G-18, Zinédine Zidane, spending €57 million after a year their penalty in Serie B, getting their penalty reduced from the initial Serie C relegation from the calciopoli scandal, Pinturicchio, appealing the first calciopoli penalty and having it reduced to a Serie B relegation with a 30 point penalty, David Trezeguet, appealing the second calciopoli penalty and having it reduced to Serie B relegation with a 19 point penalty, Michel Platini, appealing their third calciopoli penalty and having it reduced to Serie B relegation with a 9 point penalty (I don’t seem to recall the same charity bestowed to Napoli a few short years ago), Pavel Nedved, getting preferential treatment at the start of the season and avoiding playing any big matches early in the campaign (the same benefit was given to Milan, Inter and Roma…funny the other promoted sides weren’t given the same treatment), Lilian Thuram, earning the first Serie B trophy ever awarded last year (coincidence?), Luciano Moggi’s unborn great-grandchildren, and ultimately, the cockiest, glory-hunting fans who could give Notre Dame fans a run for their money on the obnoxious-o-meter.

Juventus have started the campaign as if last year in Serie B never happened. The tinkerman, Claudio Ranieri, has the bianconeri playing perhaps the best calcio in Italia (all due to respect to the Argentine national squad up in Milan). Juve have only conceded one goal (a late pk to Adrian Mutu) in their last four matches and have already had matches this campaign where they’ve put up five (against Livorno) and four (against Reggina). I know, I know those two sides are sitting at the bottom of the table…on the other hand no one else has given them that big a spanking either.

Juventus matches at the San Paolo are always one of the best fixtures of the season. The match is sold out and it’ll take another monumental effort to break down the back line of Zdenek Grygera, Nicola Legrottaglie, Cristian Molinaro and the golden beak himself Giorgio Ch iellini. Maybe Ranieri will lose his mind and give Jean Alain Boumsong and Jonathan Zebina on that backline. Don’t they need to rest up for Inter Milan?

Things get much easier though because after that backline, that’s combined to give up one goal in the last 270 minutes, Napoli just have to get it past Gigi Buffon. It’s not David-vs-Goliath, but it’s not exactly as if the sides are on equal footing either.

Two native Napoletanos are likely to see some playing time for Juve at the San Paolo. Midfielder Antonio Nocerino has been playing the role of the young Rino Gattuso for Juve and it’s only a matter of time before he starts playing meaningful matches for the Azzurri. Nocerino’s workrate is legendary and he’ll be motivated to get it done in his hometown. Striker Raffaele Palladino may also get some playing time as douchebag extraordinaire Pavel Nedved is sitting out the match due to his ejection last week against Genoa. Tinkerman is also getting a match ban for… I don’t know and I don’t care why he won’t be on the touchlilne come Saturday night.

Projected lineups:

Prison-stripe cheating scumbags: Gigi; Grygera, Legrottaglie,El Grande Naso, Molinaro; Salihamidzic, Zanetti, Nocerino; Del Piero; Trezeguet, Palladino

Napoli: Iezzo; Cupi, Cannavaro, Domizzi; Garics, Blasi, Gargano, Hamsik, Savini; Lavezzi, Zalayeta

Stats:

Goals scored: Napoli 14 (5th); Juve 17 (t-2nd) Goals conceded: Napoli 10 (t-8th); Juve 7 (t-2nd). Juventus are the second most fouled team in Serie A. Wouldn’t have anything to do Pavel “watch my flowing locks as I catapult in the air” Nedved and Vicenzo “I’m absolute crap for the Azzurri but Donadoni keeps calling me up” Iaquinta tripping all over themselves when they get anywhere within 30 yards of the opponents goal.

Additionally, Juve have allowed the second fewest shots on net and 3rd fewest overall shots. Napoli meanwhile had their seven game streak of “out-cornering” their opponents when Roma had 10 corners to Napoli’s four. I’m just making up my own stats because I follow Napoli’s statistics from match to match but don’t follow the league…because I have a ~~life~~, ~~too~~ ~~much~~ to do, a lazy streak a mile wide.

Hopefully, there won’t be fan trouble at the match. Traveling Juve fans will be allowed in the stadium. Much as I despise the bianconeri, it’s time all Italians started behaving themselves with a little self-respect and keep the violence in check.